Day Five: The Loneliness

Today I sat alone drinking at night on my own. I guess I don’t have to say what I’m thinking of. I could have gotten wasted again, but I had better control of my emotions now.
But I could sleep better now. I’ve stopped expecting a call or message from you.
I went to hang out with the boys outside before work. We exchanged numbers last night. I find no reason not to give, because I couldn’t stand the loneliness anymore.
But even when I sat down with them, I wonder where’s the laughter at. Everything just seems so fake to me.
Someone said that it was okay. I have the right to replace you with others.
I guess she’s right in some way, that the more I try to hate you, the more I couldn’t let go of you. So I’ll have to prepare myself when that happens soon.
But today, I’m starting to miss you. I missed you saying that you miss me too.

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