Day TwentyNine: The Fight

This morning on the way home from work, I felt sucky. My life is a mess. I couldn’t find a job, I’m leaving my current job in two weeks time, I still have not get my bike and school is not an option for me. And thinking of you weighs me down a lot.
So I did what I do best to hold in the feelings. I drank. Yes, I’ve been drinking a whole lot since you left. I’m only satisfied if I get myself drunk.
But this time I didn’t get drunk. But it was enough to make me crack. So today, the tears fall again as soon as I reached home. I still miss you a lot. I was still mad about what happened. I could vividly remember the last look you gave me before you turned and walked away. I remember shuk, and I don’t want to anymore.
Tonight your friend texted me. And somehow we got into a fight again. We were always fighting, but the fights keeps you off my mind. But this time round, I realised that it’s hard being friends with him. He wasn’t my friend, he was yours. I can’t help but think that I’m just a friend’s girlfriend to him.
He made me realised how easy it had been for you guys to walk in and walk out of my life. I’ve been so stupid to let either of you guys in and walk away when things have gone wrong. This is the second time I’ve gotten hurt by someone I barely knew.
And this is going to stop now. I’m not going to let anyone else in, like how I used to. No one is going to make me crack, no one is going to knock me down.
Just so you know, right now, I’m blaming you for how you guys have ruined my life. Thank you shuk, thanks a lot for everything.

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