Day FourtySix: The Disappointment

Today my happiness was shortlived. SnooPy died. I’ve only got him for a few days. Why does these kind of things always happen to me? Am I really such a fucked up kid that God really doesn’t want to see me happy with what I achieved?
I have nothing now. No job, no bike, no boyfriend by my side.
I’m fed up shuk. I can’t handle all these disappointments on my own. Why do everyone else get to be happy when they have others to depend on, yet I cannot depend on anyone but my own?
I know I’m whining now when I shouldn’t, but I’m really exhausted shuk.
Why am I still pretending to be strong when I’m not? I’m not optimistic like you shuk. I can’t pretend that life is going to change for the better in the future. Things won’t change. I’m tired of making friends to pretend that I’m not as lonely as it seems, but truth is, I’m all alone like hell in this world.
Today I can’t pretend anymore shuk. It’s not fair shuk. This is not fair to me.
But whatever still, I have to swallow all these heartaches. Goodnight shuk.

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