Day FourtySeven: The Second Attempt

Today I went to visit SnooPy. Still useless. I was on the bus and thinking why do my life has to be this way.
Someone brought his friend down to take a look at my bike. Still useless. My life is useless.
My pay is deminishing fast.
After the attempt, they brought me back to Jurong at Pioneer Mall. Just like old times, hanging out till the wee hours of morning. You know how crappy I felt going back to basics? Which literally meant I have nothing.
No boyfriend, no bike, and hanging out with riders who had to send me back home.
My only mode of distraction from thinking about you has been taken away from me.
Some fucker decided to spam my phone tonight, asking me to give him a chance and promising that I would see the difference in my life. That I deserve more than what I’ve had now. Why do people bullshit a lot these days? I know that my life is hard now, and now come along an Indian sucker who uses that knowledge to tempt me to depend on him.
I know what our people would say: This is a test. This is God’s way of testing your patience.
Well, fuck them. My patience is wearing thin. I’m turning into an angry kid again, but this time there’s no alcohol to make me forget, to make me let go of my anger. You know why? Because it’s fasting month. I’m kind of mad at God for testing my patience like this, but I still think about the fasting month. What the fuck. Maybe other people will go like, “Fuck God! Why care about God when He has made your life hard!”
There were many times I’ve thought that way, but I just didn’t want to say it, because I want to think that if I don’t complain about it, maybe life wouldn’t be so hard like now.
Shuk, just come back soon. I’m going crazy soon enough living like this.

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